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Wednesday, August 6, 2008
(photo of abandoned building interior)
Y'know, I've been known to slack off at certain things. Maybe even "put them off" for a time. But this LJ has certainly become the red-headed stepchild you forget about until they steal something. As a favour to a very excellent friend of mine, I'm resurrecting this baby for her special birthday which is today. Her name is Barbara MacDougall and you all should wish her happy times on this, her 22nd birthday.
(photo of cartoon birthday cake)
Now we all know I'm a fan of birthdays. Barb's should be no exception. I went n' got her a little something nice because birthdays are awexome and people deserve sweet swag.
(photo of swag bag)
Over the years, Barb and I have had many enjoyable talks and adventures along the way. We've had our ups and downs too. But life would be boring without a little adventure, wouldn't you say?
(photo of Indiana Jones close-up)
"That's right, Armagideon Time! Tell Barb that Indie says hi!"
Right-o, Doctor Jones. Anyway, one thing I wanted to touch on first was Barb's prowess and video gaming. Granted she's completely blind, but still manages to completely OWN me at Soul Calibur II.
(photo of Seung Mina up close)
Not only that, but she can really hold her own in the Sonic The Hedgehog series.
(photo of Sonic The Hedgehog Saturday morning cartoon title)
No no no, dummy! The video games, not the Saturday morning cartoon!
(photo of small child crying)
It's okay, Livejournal. You'll learn in time.
(photo black and white of female opera singer)
Let me also say how bone-cracklingly amazing Barb is at singing. Seriously, she can wail on her vox like Eddie Van Halen wails on his guitar!!
(photo of Eddie Van Halen crouching and wailing on guitar)
"This lick's for you, Barb! Wooooooow!"
Moving along, I also want to give shoutouts to her sweet lovable dog, Rosamae. She goes by many aliases according to Barb, so don't ask me to name them all off.
(photo of female black lab puppy face on grass, close-up)
"Woof, you'd lose track eventually! Woof!"
Okay calm down, Rosamae. Dogs can't talk.
(photo of Scooby-Doo)
"Rooby rooby roo! Says you!"
Sorry, Scoob. Forgot in all the commotion. But enough of that. Her dog is adorable and will let you rub her belly at the drop of a hat.
(photo of porkpie hat)
So as you can see, this wonderful person I call Barbara MacDougall is just a bevy of intelligence, talent, and beauty. But don't mess with her, she's got claws too!
(photo of very cute kitten)
Meow.
(photo of the Ottawa gang during May 24 weekend)
So here's to many birthdays that have come and gone, that are currently taking place, and that are yet to come. Happy birthday, Barb. Here's to 22 more years of living la vida loca!
(photo of Ricky Martin with autograph)
Your Super Awexome Friend,
Armagideon Time
Current music: The Legend Of Zelda: A Link To The Past - Dark World Theme
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
EASTER ARTICLE, BUNNY LOVERS!
So which did come first, the chicken or the egg?
Obviously the egg. My article, my history. I'm watching you, creationists.
 
So why all the silly wabbits, sweet eggs and pastels when it's really about the Big Guy?
Who knows.
I choose not to think about it and just let things slide as usual. It's a holiday. I had a long weekend. Ham was eaten. Yes.
Speaking of the ham-eating, I spent Easter MonDAZE with my friends having a wonderful Easter Lunch supplied by Tanya, a master culinary chef of Martin proportions. Then our good friend Leona unexpectedly dropped a robin's egg blue-coloured bombshell and gave us all Easter goodie bags! OHHHH YES!
Then we headed to the local coffee shoppe and sipped on brown/light-brown gold. For all intensive purposes, I'm drinking coffee in the picture. Use your frikkin' imaginations, kids.
I came back to my domicile and gorged on chocolate treats. I'm wired for sound!!
What up with the Easter Bunny?
I'll assume it's a ploy by Big Brother to manifest a global stranglehold over the world by gearing the "holiday" towards kids forcing their parents to splurge their wares on useless overpriced candied marshmallow peeps and regain a mass capita of the world's income. This will encroach the very fabric of society turning us all against the Church and everything it stands for! We will obey Big Brother and only Big Brother to bring down Big Religion and envelop ourselves in the new ways!
Doubleplusungood.
  
How does it all tie in anyway?
Y'know something? I just don't care.
Just enjoy Easter the way you want to. Be it chocolate, Jesus, chocolate Jesus, egg hunts or morning mass. There's something out there for everyone this Easter.
Your Pastel Provider,
Armagideon Time
Current mood:  Graffiti Plumber Larch Current music: Dillinger Four - Who Didn't Kill Bambi?
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Come on in, friends! Romans and countrymen are welcome, too. This trip into Funland has a few very interesting stops along the way!
 
Well come on already! The Tapioca Bus Of Candy-Coated Dreamz is waiting for you!
Crikey! We’re really in the thick of Fun now! Look what I’ve spotted yonder!
It’s a donnybrook of bubbly happiness! Come and embrace the zany madcap funness that is the bubble!
Mmmm smells like the laughter of a thousand cheer-mildewed munchkins!
Gah, we’ve wandered into the desert of boredom! I need something colourful, something joyful! All this “nothing” is sapping the jolly emotions running through my sugar-baked skull! Please, Gods of Fun, sprinkle some illuminating joy on me before I perish from the dullness!
......!
 
Oh hooray! Welcome home, Pleasure Beachball! You are SO in the right place for the moment!
Oh Pleasure Beachball has instilled a new life into me from the depths of Almost-Sorrow thanks to the dank desert of bleakaty I nearly drowned in! What other wonders lie along this ecstatic-bound beach??
 
Well shoot me twice and call me Suzie! It’s the most wondrous rainbow mine eyes have ever gazed upon! This beach truly is a slice of Heaven Pie! Make that a la mode with a scoop of Giggles Ice Cream!
Let us to a new section of this paradise of glee and whimsy!
*GASP*! We have found the elusive secret valley that grants us the wishes of our dreams!
ONWARD!
Hmm, any wish I want, eh? Well now who may I ask this?
 
Excuse me, Mr. Butterfly, but do you know who I may ask to grant my Happy Wish?
Why Armagideon Time! You just ask away! The Valley itself is created from the cries of joy from the youth of your world! Let it answer your prayers!
Well in that case, I wish for...
 
It worked! My friends are here HOORAY! Oh I love this place and wish I could never leave!
Well, Armagideon Time, unfortunately not all great things last forever. But do remember this place. Remember it well. For it is your inner wonders and dreams!
Umm...what?
No really, WHAT?
 
Whoa! I’m back in front of my compy! What just happened?
Wow that was so trip-tastic. Way too many Cheerios. Anyway maybe I should get to posting my article…
What the...?
Weird.
Your Baffled Pleasure-Seeker,
Armagideon Time
Current mood:  Gummi Wire Telepathy Current music: Zeal Palace - Chrono Trigger
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Oh hello! Didn't see you there.
No really, I didn't.
This time I feel the need to talk about something that comes from the gut. Something that comes from the very BOWELS of human mediocrity. Something so vile, only the truest of the true bottom-feeding mouth breathers of the earth would sink so low as to succumb to its wild tales of hope…of course I’m talking about…
Diets.
Now I’m one to talk about diets. I’m not exactly Slimmy McThin. I’m also no Rotunda FitzBiggie. I’d say somewhat more than average. My typical “diet” doesn’t really confide in the traditional recommended amounts of each food group on a daily basis. Granted, I do love my fruits and veggies though.
Point proven.
We’ll start with the most basic diet that obviously makes the most sense. Yer typical amounts of each food group needed daily, with no extra “goodies” on the side. Yes, I saw you reaching for that bag of Mini Eggs.
It ain't Easter yet!
But when you think about it, it really does make sense. You’d also think it’d be easy, but…
The frikkin’ media makes us think otherwise. Curse your deliciousness, Doritos! Your cheese dust will be the death of me!
CHEEEESE DUUUUUST!
Here’s a diet I just don’t understand. I guess it has sumpin’ to do with depriving our bodies of protein, or giving it ONLY protein, or…aww geez I really don’t care. It basically means this Atkins fella thinks our bodies need more of some things and less of others. They even brought out lame “Atkins-friendly” food products that are located at YOUR grocery store!
 
Could carbs really be THAT bad for you? I doubt a little pasta is gonna cause a heart attack. For some reason, runners eat the junk no probs. I wonder where they store it all.
Dear Gawd.
Just because we kill carbohydrates doesn’t mean our UGLY UGLY fat will go next. Heck, I’m not even sure this eating fad is still popular! It’s just one of those diets hyped up so much you can’t NOT remember.
Lest we forget Atkins.
Now this one just doesn’t make any sense. It’s stupid. It’s retarded. Yeah, retarded. When you look at yourself in the mirror and declare 120 pounds to be fat, someone needs a trip to the Loonie Parlor for a Crazy Sundae…
...Extra nuts.
The above picture depicts the perfect weight for a Pro-Ana wannabe. The diet is pretty easy, actually. You don’t eat. At all.
THAT'S THE SPIRIT!
It’s being in your teens and having Popular Sports Jock at Super Drama Highschool tell you that you have a “great personality.” Suddenly you see yourself as this:
There’s even a website and tons of blogs n’ forums dedicated to this madness!
No no, different Madness.
So don’t be afraid of what you look like. Eat right, feel good, and try not to give into glutton. It’s common to hear overeating as a disease. Just don’t eat so much.
Too far.
What have we learned today? Well...
1. Following the rules is ALWAYS FUN.
2. Carbs aren't THAT bad.
3. You look fine just the way you are!
Now I gotta get back to my gorging. 'Till next time!
Your Starving Artist,
Armagideon Time
Current mood:  Mildew Spinning Bioware Current music: Descendents - I Like Food
Monday, March 3, 2008
12:50AM
And from the ashes of justice, He arose once again to deliver upon His people a message of hope…
Whoaaaaa! I’m finally back to delve into the mean, malicious world of what is our Justice system. Well, as best as I, Armagideon Time, can summarize in a few cute pictures.
See?
PART I: THE COURTROOM
Jesus Jones, they really know how to make something banal and mundane as the justice system look totally wicked awexome on TV, don’t they? Over-the-top lawyers, forged evidence, impossible murder situations, and probably a special guest appearance from some 1980’s actor.
Aside all that, I do have to say I enjoy watching these scenes play out. The more “realistic”, the better. Stuff on those Law & Order shows is decent, but I’m talkin’ serious smack like “The Exorcism Of Emily Rose.” I know, you wouldn’t think so eh?
Turns out the whole thing’s a big, fat, pulsatingly rotund court case concerning some priest dude that exorcised a demon out of Emily’s skull. Apparently that’s illegal in the United States and such. So it cuts in and out of flashback stuff showing the awexome devil-face-body-contorting-zaniness that is possession, and a courtroom with a prosecutor I could fall in love with. Seriously, this guy was good. I’d have given a murderous verdict in seconds looking into those soft doe eyes that hunger for judgment.
 
One cop-out I’ve seen come up time and again is from the defense and their claim that the defendant is a “good wholesome person blah blah blah.” Going from witness to witness trying to find the nice, genuine parts of their client’s soul just comes off as being long-winded and hopeless. Just put the baby to bed and confess. I have watched a lot of CSI, and it seems evidence makes or breaks your case! Tender words from a loving mother will not win the day if your fingerprints are found all over the .45 Caliber.
So with that, I don’t have much else to say about the courtroom and the justice system really. Play some Ace Attorney on the Nintendo DS and you’ll get it, partner. Video games are law.
PART II: ROGUE JUSTICE
I’m not particular for taking justice into your own hands, but when you’re in the weeds and bloody vengeance is all you feel, sometimes it feels like it’s the only solution.
The worst are those that take their aggressions of terrorism out on “the dirty muslims” or “those Iraq people.” They think they’re doing the world a favour by harming these individuals, but really they’re just causing more anger to spread.
Yes…spreading like jam. Yes that’s exactly what I meant. Perfect.
But the people taking justice into their own hands that I can commend are those putting a stop to crime on a day-to-day basis. Honourable civilians catching a glimpse of a robber in the corner of their eye, then darting for the culprit in a fit of adrenaline and anger! Or witnessing someone being pummeled into within an inch of their life, then taking it upon yourself to slickity-slam down and wail on the evildoer until they’re out of commission. These heroic acts are things I can put a badge of honour upon.
Umm...
Geez, what else can I justify?
Can I really justify lengthening this article for another section?
YES I CAN!
PART III: CERTAIN ASPECTS OF JUSTICE
According to Wikipedia, there’s too many types of justices for me to even consider. Who knew such a thrown-around word could mean so many different things?
Let’s start with something we’re taught as younglings. FAIRNESS. That’s right. Even though you cleaned your room WAYYY before your sister Suzie did, apparently you both get two cookies. In the same vain, if you and a buddy share a lottery ticket and win, I guess you’re supposed to split the money 50/50.
Guaranteed those kids would all cheat if they could.
But isn’t all this egalitarian talk a little too utopian? I mean yeah right, EVERYONE in the world would get along if everything was all divided equally. Sure. There’s always someone out there wanting more.
Guilty as charged, ma'am.
Lastly, let’s talk about those bastards who are gonna “get what they deserve.” Unfortunately, I do not see eye-to-eye with those that believe in “eye for an eye.” See what I did there, with the eyes thing? Genius.
So luckily I live in Canada where the death penalty is abolished. I guess most of the States don’t have it either, but a few do. These few feel that if you murder someone, it gives them the right to murder you too. Now let’s think ‘bout this, you delicious people out there. What if someone close to me is killed in a State where the death penalty exists? The killer would be caught and sentenced to death. Now what if I killed the condemned person first? Technically I’m doing Justice’s work according to their laws. Nuh uh. I be dead. See the flaw in the law? The “f-law?” Nice, A-Time. Nice.
People that get what they deserve are sent away to live a miserable life in prison with no chance for parole, forced to be reminded of what they did for the rest of their lives. The one thing they did, that even if they LIKED what they did, it’s viewed as bad in the eyes of justice. And they know this. TAKE THAT, CRIMINALS!!
So that’s all I’m gonna do for this article. Sure, it’s a bit of a letdown, but gimme a chance, people. I gotta dust off the ol’ humour bucket. Only thing left in it is some leftover chum anyway. Care for a taste?
Your As-Usual Long Overdue Typist,
Armagideon Time
Current mood: Gadget Pyro Smash Current music: The Clash - Complete Control
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Well what's been up, my brethren n' sistren? I'm here to tell you all just how messed the Blind Error is for now. Y'see, I had the chance of writing you all nice peeps some fresh licks(articles?) for this fiscal year of 2007, but my "borrowed" computer says otherwise. I can't log onto the net. So I'm using another's compy to give you the info! BELIEVE ME, once things are humming like the bird of the same name, I'll be back with stupid quips and retarded pics. Trust me. A-Time not lettin' y'all down!
Your Faithful Companion,
Armagideon Time
Current mood:  Cream Disk Fire Current music: Boring Computer Hum
Saturday, October 14, 2006
I have bad news and worse news, all y'all. No, it's not my excellent new ebonics skillz, it's the death of a near n' dar friend of mine...my laptop. It had been by my side since 'bout 2002 and started me off on a wild ride of MSN'ing and stupid posting. It was the first machine to ever allow my hallowed hands to type the ill-fated Room For Blind Error. Still a good retro-read now and then, it holds a deepest place in my heart, probably near the left ventricle. So I'm here to tell you that not only is my lappy dead, but all the pictures from parts 2 and 3 of my Brantford trip. I'd saved them on my lappy, then deleted them from my camera. So much for "technology". But I'll come on here from time to time, hopefully posting things to amuse you all. I'm moving to a new location in Ottawa on All Hallow's Eve, so maybe my friend Terri will allow me some computer time to make her laugh. So on that note, I bid you all adieu, and keep reaching for the brass ring.
Your Partner In Time,
Armagideon Time
Current mood:  depressed Current music: Some French Thing
Sunday, October 8, 2006
Ahhhh, little bit of a stretch, clean out those cobwebs, disinfect that "stuff" in the corner...
There we go! My Journal is all fixed up and ready! Greetings, newcomers and ol' timers to the now newly renovated Journal For Blind Error! A lot has happened to me lately, but I'll get to that another time. Those that really know me know what's changed. But my humour? Still gold. Want proof? Here's your proof. A new 3-part article of things over 2 months out of date! TAKE THAT, CONTINUITY! Enjoy!
THE JULY BRANTFORD EXTRAVAGANZA! PART 1 - MEETS, GREETS, AND TREATS 
Oh look, it's the Peterborough "bus station", if it can be called that. Seems more like a front for a place where the bland and unimpressionable can "chill". Anyways I get on this bus and make it go.
Yep. $14. 52 one-way from Peterborough to Toronto. That is definitely for sure. Nothing else to say about a picture of my bus ticket. I hope the next picture's way more fun.
Damn. It's another bloody bus station! This time around, Toronto. Geez, how many of these retarded things do we need to see before the real fun begins? Oh, like I give two flying foxes if YOU think these are boring pictures! Fine! You can go to Hell! You stay there, with your hats! And belts!
There I am, precious moments away from boarding the final mode of transportation when I had to use the facilities. Little did I know that the bus you see before you had no working bathroom. So the next few hours would be very trying. Luckily it wasn't too bad. Hmm, have I said too much? Probably. At least I'm not telling you to go to Hell for this picture. That's nice.
And using special Livejournal movie-making magic, we jump from Toronto to Brantford in the blink of an eye! It only took 5 pictures, but we're here. People kinda gave me weird looks every time I pulled out ol' Cammy Camera to take a picture of something very unnecessary. Makes sense. Just wait 'till you see some of the stupid things I took pics of! But as for this one, it's just the Brantford bus station. A little more presentable than the PTBO one, but still feeble in comparison to the juggernaut that was Toronto. At least it has a Tim Horton's! Mmm coffee offee!!
Jump ahead oh, about exactly several hours to nightshade. I've met my friends at the Gamemasters, hung out, and at this point we were off to fill our bellies with lots of deliciousness and yum. Join me as we investigate what magical mysteries this eatery holds inside......
HAHAHAHA, oh the lame-osity of it all! Look at how INTENSE I was in ordering my food stuffs! It's kind of hard though to keep a straight face when you're ordering from a menu that has "AHRRRRR You Hungry?" in large letters on its front. Needless to say, I ordered a delish and "nutrish" BBQ Chicken Pizza. My stomach was about to feel an onslaught of flavour on a cataclysmic scale.
Well melt my heart and stick it in soup! If it isn't Will and Carey...or Carrie. I dunno, pretend I'm talking. So this is the lucky couple that housed me for a week and thensome's time. As you can see, their dying hunger can't suppress their UNdying love for each other......What is this, Love Connection? Come on, Chuck Woolery, let's keep this thing rolling.
Skip to the next night. Skip to where I hung out with Chris and Randy Burk, friends of mine. Skip to where we drank and awful lot of alcohol. Hey, it happens. Here's our first hero shot: Chris hammin' back a bottle of Brass Monkey. Okay, so Brass Monkey is approx. 3/4 Old English and 1/4 orange juice. Delish AND "nutrish".
Ahhh, our crazy 'ohol night on a much grander scale! I tried to make this photo come off like Chris had embibed all our jazz, but now I've just kind of ruined it for you. My main contribution to the fest was what lies in the lower left corner. Yeah, my Smirnoff. I was a fan of mixing. But all in all, that's Chris. He's a good guy.
Same night, same people, different story. I think all 3 of us decided we wanted some eats, so we headed to the local gas station Snack Express and grabbed some sugah.
Holy gumshoes, lookit Randy pound back that Brass Monkey! He's a friggin' malt machine suckin' back that Old English like it's delicious cough syrup. It's amazing he didn't spit up in front of me! Of course there's this picture too...
I'm rockin' the mickey of vodka like I was in the barracks of the Titanic. Yes, I got drunk. No, I did not expel vomit or anything of the like. It was JUST enough to make me feel coocoo, but not for Cocoa Puffs.
My 2 friends were cat-sitting for their siblings who currently reside in London. This be that cat. His name's Tarzan, and he LOVES to cause mayhem. He'd always try to get outside where we were boozing up but if he had, he'd have jumped off the ledge and fell a few stories. Not good times. Luckily he's still alive, and sitting in their window.
NEXT day I'm invited to hang out with a very good ol' friend Catey over at her house. Her brother, Dylan, LOVES video games I think as much as I do. Possibly even more(if that's possible). Here he is playing the DS. Don't ask me which game it is. But I bet it's boss.
Here is Catey. She's a cool gal that digs a solid RPG adventure or two. And boy, does she look happy in this picture! We seem to get along fine. Too bad I live a jillion miles away. I'd RPG the HECK out of her house!
I figure I'd end part 1 on a cute note...unfortunately, this picture comes off more like Damian from "The Omen". It's my first article since July 26th, so cut me some slack, yo. At least the kitty is cute. Just don't stare into Dylan's eyes. You'll turn to stone...or Luigi or something.
Your Re-established Writer,
Armagideon Time
Current mood:  Purple Robot Biodome Current music: The Clash - Three Card Trick
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
THAT'S RIGHT, SUCKAS! I am now 24, which is legal pretty much everywhere! Regardless of the esoteric fact, I'm here just to announce my new age. No real pictures or anything, 'cause that's for a full article. So please use this entry to give me your best wishes! GAWD, I LOVE BIRTHDAYS!
Your Birthday Boy,
Armagideon Time
Current mood:  Telephone Crime Piece Current music: NOFX - New Happy Birthday Song
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Just thought I'd pop in to tell ya that this computer's been acting up lately, and that's why I'm having trouble updating daily. On another note, tomorrow is the best day of the year...my berfday. I hope to hear best wishes from all of you! When this computer decides to be friendly, I'll post up all the cool gadgets I got. But until then, stay faithful, faithfuls.
Your Old Fogie,
Armagideon Time
P.S. - On the 28th I'm leaving for Brantford. If I can't get to y'all before then, I'll be gone for a week. Hopefully someone can take over in the meantime!!
Current mood: Backwash Laser Fish Current music: Broken Computer Hum
Thursday, July 20, 2006
It's the finale you've all been DYING to see....the send-off article devoted to the province Canada loves to hate...Quebec. Basically, this is everything we did after the Citadel leading up to our arrival at the train station. So just what did we do before we arrived in Traintown? Well lemme show you!
Anywhos, here's a loverly landscape of Quebec City once again coming to within our evil grasps. I'm not sure just how much time we had to get to the twain station, but I'm sure it was a comfortable amount. I wasn't worried...much.
At some point, we stumbled upon a tunnel-like structure and decided going under it would bring us closer to our destraination. Little did we know of all the graffiti that awaited us...like this tasty number! Apparently it explains how the New York Yankees are no fans of Coca Cola. Must be the Pepsi Generation.
Well...this picture says it all, doesn't it? Quebec is not a fan of the USA. I tended to agree with them during this outing, so I decided to join in the antics. I love swearing!
I don't remember why my bro took a picture of this door. What significance it has to our getting outta Quebec I have no bloomin' ideas. Pretty rustic in design, I guess. But this isn't Trading Spaces.
I bet ya THIS place could use a Trading Spaces touch though! Holy cow, all the churches in Quebec. It's like where Jesus would set up camp or something.
Umm...a statue and a lady? I assume it was around this time my bro started taking last-minute pictures for no reason. Why am I including this one in the Send-off article? 'Cause it's my Journal, b*tches.
Not much to say here. Just pretty cool scenery. Quebec City totally trumps Montreal in beautiful shots...what we saw of Montreal, anyway. Kinda big, y'know. It's almost like the architects knew this stuff would look all old/cool in the future. Old things tend to do that. "Be old, Armagidoen Time?" Yes.
I'm sorry, but this picture is just fun. Kinda weird though. A mural of some kid on a very happy-looking old man's lap? Let's hope grandpa's bladder holds out long enough for the Pedo Police to arrive.
Quebec is like a real huge hill, in that it's very hilly and slopes down a fair bit. Sure sucked walking up towards the Citadel. But this time, we're walking back down the winding roads towards our Final Destination of the Station.
After all the rain, all the walking, all the sight-seeing and all the souvenir-purchasing, we had finally arrived at the penultimate post of our predetermined position...train station. Got carried away with the P's. So this is it. This is where all the laughter and hilarity ended for us. What laid inside wasn't exactly much, but here ya go.
The Train Station. There it is. Where our fabled Quebec journey kinda started(minus Montreal) and very much ended(not until we got back home, actually). So I hope you enjoyed these articles way more than I ever did making them. If these had taken me any longer, I'd give up on the Journal. But it's you people that keep me going. It's what made me write such long things for this Quebec thingie. I hope to hear good things about this in the future. Until then, bonne soir!
Your 100% Completed File,
Armagideon Time
Current mood:  Satiated Salisbury Dream Current music: The Influents - Y'all Ever
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Hi there, kids. Today features the last installment of something that should've ended 2 weeks ago...Quebec. See, this time we're still in Quebec City, but our location has changed. From the epic walls of the Citadel to the brazen Plains of Abraham, we're going on an historic journey through time, and quite possibly space. Moreso the time factor, though. Oh yeah, s'about war too.
So here's where the mayhem started. I kinda figured my bro'd take a couple skyline-style pictures and we'd be off our merryland way to the train station so's we wouldn't miss our train. Little did I know this was the almost exact opposite of what happened. And boy, am I glad. But check out that old fort. I mean...wowzers! So...big.
Hell, this is the 2nd picture and we still haven't even BEGUN the article! What the Hell's wrong with you, Armagideon Time? Y'see, self, I like to build things up so much that it becomes a huge letdown in the end. It's what I call "screwing people". Anyways, here's a picture of the inside of the Citadel fort. It's really French, I suppose. But we kinda didn't know where to go for tours or anything, so we asked some random passer-by about directions. Oh, we scored. Hard.
So hard, in fact, we found the entrance not too far from where we were standing. This isn't quite the super-entrance, but close enough. Just deal with it. I have a lotta pictures to put up for you.
We found a nice lady that let us pay her cash/money to go on this tour of the Citadel. Our tour guide lucked out with us! Not only were we a tagteam of hilarity(moreso my bro), but we were the ONLY 2 on the tour! At 8 in the morning! And it was her first day! Thank Gawd for Armagideon Time and Sidekick. About the picture: I believe this is the tiny building that held so much honour it'd make a Klingon puke royal blue blood. There was everything from Congressional Medals to Purple Hearts! The real ones, not those eBay things. They were all sealed up so no one could steal 'em. But really, do you need to prove to your girlfriend you're THAT much manlier than Rocko from the Lacrosse team by wearing a medal some French-Canadian won for killing people? ...Umm, sure why not? Rocko's a jackass.
Sorry for the blue language, but it's okay to say things like that when you're in a HOLDING CELL. Boy oh boy, these places must've sucked back then. Not even a chamberpot to poop? It's too bad we didn't get to go inside. That would've been an excellent photo-op. Hmm, don't really have a joke for this picture. It just is what it is. A cell. For crooks.
Bang bang! Lookit these ancient killing machines! To think these trinkets struck the fear of Gawd into the hearts of the wicked. That or magic, I guess. We Canadians don't reveal ALL our secrets. So anyway, these are old rifles. I'm sure Indiana Jones killed a lot of Nazis with these.
This probably looks like the cover art to a lot of punk albums. What is it with the punks and gas masks? Maybe because those crusties never take showers. Gross. But I wonder how much these old relics really DID protect one from gas. It's not like it's 100% gas-proof. If oxygen can make it through, so can trusty mustard gas! Moving on!
Ah, from the tippity-top of the Citadel lies the vast and beautiful landscape of Quebec....from a cannon. Yeah, that's right. Quebec played BOTH sides! What! Enough jokes. Seriously, that view was pretty nice, and high. The cannon was cool, too. All old, metally, shiny, cannon-y. Pfft, let's just see what I'll joke about in the next pic...
Well I sure as Hell ain't makin' fun of MYSELF! But that's me delivering harsh verbosity for the ErrorCast via large cannon. The lady tour guide said I looked amazingly hot. Hahaha no wait, that was me...in my head.
Holy Crap it's a tank. A Full Metal Jacket highly awexomenal tank! Oh man, such a G.I. Joe moment! Okay, back to earth. It was pretty killer seeing a tank. But not as cool as the infantry that surprised us by marching a few feet away. Even in the off-season, they're militarying it up! What troopers!
"OBVIOUS JOKE ALERT!"
It's so beautiful, yet so chaotic. Kinda like looking at the pretty colours you get when you let a cup of yogurt go bad...REALLY bad. Okay bad example. But here's some firepower for our old guns n' cannons and the like. Oh yeah, I should mention that a lot of these pictures were from stuff inside an old bomb shelter. Well, by bomb shelter, I mean where they stored bombs. Yeah, it woulda made for a really bad bomb shelter then. Kinda cool dome-like effect though. Let's look at more old stuff!
Bwahahaha! These people look so stupid! Lookit 'em with the stupid thing! The old thing! Stupid! ...Now that the 13-year old me is done, these suits looked pretty....uncomfortable. And what's with the hairdos? I suppose this was the "it" thing back in the 17th or 18th century. Maybe even the 19th, I lost count. Whenever it was, it looked bizarre. Classy, though. I will say those chaps were classy. Kudos, chaps. Kudos.
Another Cannon?!? Gawddamn, we love blowin' stuff up!
We're nearing the end of this gala event, so I figure a double-shot of the legendary Plains Of Abraham would be a nice near-final touch. This is where the famous Battle Of The Plains Of Abraham took place. Original title, eh? The French and Indians totally smoked those silly Americans! We are always victorious! My feet were starting to feel the pressure of long walks by this time, but I sucked in all the history I could...I was never good at the subject, so I sure sucked a lot. Haha, good one, me!!
You think we're done? Oh no. This is merely the end of the festivities in the province of Quebec! We've still to check out the after-party! I hear Carrot Top's gonna get beat up! I still gotta show you our "departing" pictures. They're kinda cool. So this does for part 3 of my now 4-part mini series. Maybe UPN will pick up the show. Catch you all on the flip flop! It's been a slice!!
Your Bloc Quebecois,
Armagideon Time
Current mood:  February Chill Flower Current music: Set Your Goals - This Song Is Definitely Not About A Girl
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
MWUHAHAHAHA! Hello, children! Welcome me back to my decrepit and unhumble abode! Tee hee heeeeee! ...Err, yes.
Greetings, fellow Error readers! I know it's been a fortnight and thensome since I talked to you last, but alas...I was having fun in Ottawa. First I went to Barrie and hung with some friends for Canada Day. It was decent, albeit dramatic. Then, Ottawa. Spent a few days with some fun ladies and a guy, then a few more days with some silly man and his girliefriend. It was hot, I got blisters on me footsies, but I made it out alive. Now I'm back to bother you all with more tales of Quebecery and malaprop tyranny! So join me as I take you once again on a tour of Armagideonland 2006! Woosh woosh!
Your Wal-Mart Greeter,
Armagideon Time
Current mood: Fireworks Floundering Gargoyle Current music: Set Your Goals - We Do It For The Money, Obviously!
Thursday, June 29, 2006
What? Part 2? Finally? Finally. Here's the second of three french shots to the face you'll be getting from me. And to be honest, I can't wait 'till they're done. I got a sweet RELEVANT article idea that you'll love...and I'll hate. Anyway, enough about that. Here's to Quebec City...
Okay, so our adventure today doesn't quite start in Quebec City. Moreso, the Montreal Deli/Train Station. Got my buddy mannequin there. Dunno why the Hell anyone bothered to paint up this Sears window reject for some low-class deli. Okay, I shouldn't say that. This place was the keen. So many bistros and deli-type places. I'll touch on it more on our trip through MEATreal return-styles. Let's just get to the stupid city already.
Venturing back to Earth from Planet Deli, our train pulls into Quebec City, which was apparently from this photo the location for Waterworld 2. Yeah, it rained like everybody's bidness upon our arrival. I was NONE too pleased. NONE AT ALL. Unfortunately this kinda soured my day, but luckily my brother had higher spirits to wake me up before we go-goed. After walking in torrential rain for maybe 15 minutes, I headed back to the almost non-english speaking Arrival Centre place to wait for my brother to locate a hotel or something. That part's kinda vague. but I recorded something for my ErrorCast, I remember. Needless to say, we did find a sweet hotel.
Hello, Bed And Breakfast-style joint! Comfy beds, decor de pine/oak, and a killer TV to boot! This pad was jumping with relaxation. Boy, did we need it(we = me). Soaking wet, feet sore, and a little miserable. I needed some me time.
Me time lasted about an hour. That's not really a bad thing, though. I was finally eager to check the sites of the city. The very very wet sites...As you can see, we were already smack dab in Old Quebec. That was nice of us to find such a place. Thank you, us! Yeah, we meandered and dilly-dallied around for some time, but then our stomachs started to jingle "supper time!", so we stopped off in a chic restaurant too good for my likes and ate like Empirical Kings.
The water was good!! But the smoking area, not so much. My bro and I were taken aback by the mysterious question "Smoking or Non-smoking?" It's a question we haven't heard in some time, so it took us a minute or two to adjust to this. Ontario was smoke-free, but not Quebec! Those fumes of memory made me choke dreams of childhood...Food was okay, by the way.
To be honest, what happened between our "lunch" and supper is a total blur. My bro has a better memory than me, so maybe he can fill you in. But the next thing I remember is something epic. Something only maybe a picture of something vaguely showing you my representation could shine upon...
We took...Le Challenge!!
Lookit that mammoth burger and that oh-so-french poutine! My brother was in awe of the plate that stood between him and deliciousness. So in awe, it deserved a digi-photo, the one you see above. Le Challenge was a nifty sports restaurant just a jaunt away from our rockin' cheap hotel. We gorged and filled our bellies with fast-type food, passed by a room littered with stinky small english-speaking children, then probably did something else before we retired to our abode for the night.
Oh we SO watched "House". I mean, might as well catch my fave show if all other options are depleted! Our feet were a little sore from the day's walking, so staying in felt pretty nice. I should tell you more about the hotel now that we're there(in retrospect). This hotel is adjoined to a souvenir shop. The lady that helped us along was rather chipper! She didn't wield any gifts at us or coax us into buying any impulse items for loved ones at home....We still bought stuff anyway though. We got a pretty killer krazy deal on the room. Right in downtown Old Quebec, cheap, right by a cool store, friendly service, and comfy beds! Yes!! All in all, a very choice decision. Oh yeah, then we slept, heartily.
*Yawn* Ahhh, was it morning already? Well this photo says "Yes", and how!! I dug the very close quarters our awkward abode gave us. Kinda made me feel like we found a cool place no one else did....pfft. It's just some stairs. Let's move on.
The morning of our departure, we decided to take in as much as we could before Mr. Train would snatch us away to his secret lair back in Ontario. First and foremost, had to see the REALLY REALLY Old Quebec City. I mean, Gawd damn, it be old. Check out all those Coppertone-type buildings in that beauty shot my bro took. Now as fantazmic as those were, we were more looking for the humble side of this way-too-cool city.
Ah, here's the entrance! Right where we left it! How did cars ever get through these narrow places in the 1800s?
I loved exploring Really Old Quebec City. Sure, it must've been 5 or 6, maybe even 7 in the morning, but that didn't stop me from being amazed at all the well-retained old areas we ventured! I mean, lookit everything! This was a time before disco, the hulahoop, and even THE INTERNET!
Further into the cAtAcOmBs of Older Quebec, we happened upon some areas that seemed out-of-place. Maybe too old for Old Q or too NEW for Old Q?
"Just get on with your silly article, little man."
Umm...yes Q. Anyway, getting back to the non-geek portion of le article, we didn't really do much in Older Quebec other than look around at old things and marvel at their...oldiness.
Like I said, old buildings look old in Old Quebec.
Ready...aim...fun!!! Oh yeah, when we found these cannons, you KNOW Armagideon Time had to mount a ride on history's backside. Yeah, I'm pumping my fist, but that's to show the love I have for corny pictures...I think we went somewheres else next.
Bwahahaha! I tells you, the fun never stopped for us that great, long morning! My bro actually wanted me to hang off by one arm from that tall structure, but eff that. I was a little tired, and not too keen on falling and death. Bad combo. But occasionally we felt we had to stop for some silliness, otherwise our learning brains would rupture from too rapid a succumbing to historical values!!
Look! CHURCHES!!
Well that about wraps up this overdue part 2 of my umpteen-part article on the trip we took 50 years ago. Stay tuned, because our next destination will SHOCK and AMAZE you...historically speaking, of course.
Your Clandestine Quebecer,
Armagideon Time
Current mood:  Firebird Thunder Slap Current music: Just The Hum Of This Lame Computer
Friday, June 16, 2006
*cough cough hack wheeze* Wow, this place is DUSTY. How long has it been since I've been REAL with y'all? A couple o' months now, I guess.
As a great apology to the likes of my Error readers, I'm gonna blow the HELL offa your Boredom Pots by letting the delicious Soup of Pleasure boil over!! It's time to go to Quebec!!
FIRST STOP: MONTREAL
As with any trip, I had no bloomin' clue how this would go, but I knew I'd whine at lesat once before the trip was done. But getting on the train, that was the furthest thing from my mind. Luckily my brother brought his digi-style cam along so we could document the whole trip. You've already heard my version through the ErrorCasts(hopefully), now see it through the magical eyes of TECHNOLOGY!!
I'll spare you the details of the train trip as it was uneventful and skip right to the Juicy Juice of Day One: The Biodome. We didn't even get to our hotel room yet and already my bro was keen on Domin' it up! We even took the Metro subway to get there! But ah, look at it. So unique in design, yet so full of life. Well here, lemme show you the jungle palace's innards:
Okay...ignore Senior Happenstance there in the middle and focus on the lush lushiness of that fine roughage. I have about a trillion other pictures of birds and animals and junk, but geez, this is not an article on Zoology. Head to my bro's website for THAT. In fact, here. Go here:
Cody's Cryptozoology Thing
You can thank me later, Brother. Moving on with the 'dome, I gotta say despite the whiney-styles pain I had from lugging 3 days worth of stuff on my back, this place was keen. I personally enjoyed the Bird Room, where the chances of getting white poop on you rise by about 1000%. All in the name of science, I guess...
Oh, there were plenty of hijinx and tomfoolery during our Biodventure. I mean lookit me, standing around in the Arctic? WHODATHUNKIT?!? We even had a misunderstanding and wandered into an archaeological area we're pretty sure we should've paid to get in, but we weren't worried. We got some snapshots of some ol' bones(nothing interesting, REALLY) and headed back out. On our way around though we also ran into some delightful penguins and probably a shark. It's kinda fuzzy in memory now. Man, I shoulda wrote this the day I got home...
"ENOUGH OF THE DARN BIODOME ALREADY!"
You got it, booming voice. Let's move on to bigger, better, Montrealer things.
At this point we were gettin' kinda tired from the walking and the backpacking and the whatnot, so we decided to ARRET at our reserved hotel.
"But Armagideon Time, you never told us how you came to reserve it!" Look kid, that was after the train bidness. We found a tourist place, made reservations, got lost for a bit, then went to the Biodome. Mostly aimless walking. ARE WE DONE HERE? "Yessum." Good. Hotel time.
Thar she blows. Those beds were COMFY. And BIG. On the right is my pile of clothes. I musta been showering when my bro took this picture. But yeah, I was so tired I raced outta my clothes and showered it up. We watched "8 Simple Rules" and we thought it was probably the worst sitcom in television history. Even Herman's Head was better...
After resting our dogged feet for a measly couple hours, we headed back out relaxed and refreshed. My bro wanted to see some really old Church-type thing. I think I mentioned it on my ErrorCast, but I'll spare myself the listening and just show you a picture of this grand place:
Now THAT is impressive. Not just the structure, but the picture. Kudos, lil' brudder! We ventured around Old Montreal a little while longer, finding adventure and mystery along the way. We checked out some more ancient religious places(including a Nunnery!), then made our way across the city looking for a bite to eat. We eventually did, and it was pretty decent. My bro n' I neglected to remember that the No Tolerance policy on smoking in buildings only applied to our home Province. This place had Smoking and Non-smoking sections! We were taken aback in agast! Still, it did not phase us too much. We ate and headed out, searching for more wonder.
Outta NOWHERE, we stumbled across this fancy-lookin' archway that lead into what we called China Street. It wasn't exactly China TOWN, as it only kinda went along one strip o' road. As strange as that was, you KNOW we had to walk it. It wasn't all that far from our hotel, neither! As we made our way back, we looked around Montreal, knowing we'd eventually be back, albeit not for very long. We made our way into our hotel room, watched some junk, and fell asleep.
TO BE CONCLUDED...
Your Bonhomme De Neige,
Armagideon Time
Current mood:  Crinkle Desktop Shower Current music: Sublime - 40 oz. To Freedom
Thursday, June 1, 2006
8:20PM
Hello, just a quick facial update. Lookee what I decided to do to my poor face...
Yep. I'm goin' 1970's cop on ya. Just the moustache. From a distance, you'd swear it was nothing, but up close that hair is 100% genuine Armagideon Time! I kinda don't like how I look in that pose, though...
Muuuuuuch better.
Your Moustachioed One,
Armagideon Time
Current mood:  Stealth Buttercup Gravy Current music: Ghost Mice - The Devil And My Family
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Yeah, I've been procrastinating like a mother on crack(sorry, jokes are thin...been awhile). But rest assured, despite this crazy heatwave, I WILL devote time to that stupid Quebec article. I mean, it's gonna be in 3 parts like my ErrorCast. Tons of pics. Cut me a break. In the meantime, here's my fave cop-out of all-time: SURVEY TIME, THAT IS!! WAHAHAHAHA!
1. FIRST NAME? Armagideon
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Nope, my mom liked the name. Something about its ambiguity...hmm...
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Can't remember. Is that good? Maybe it was one of those "just because" moments. I hate those. They make me want to cry.
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? It looks like a French monkey wrote my name. What??
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Macaroni & Cheese Loaf. Yes, it is real.....ly DELICIOUS.
6. KIDS? Yep. They sure are kids alright.
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Depends on my other personality. I think I could be friends with me, but only fairweather-style, just like any Edmonton Oilers fans not living in Alberta. OH I WENT THERE.
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Ahem. Readin' it.
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Look, I could easily say "Noooo, I NEVER use sarcasm! Bwahaha!" but...well I just did. Eat it.
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Nuh uh! I'm part of the "No Tonsils" generation of the 80's. Tonsils? WHO NEEDS 'EM?
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Would there be a bungee involved? No thanks. I get high on LIFE.
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Right now it's Raisin Bran, but of ALL-TIME? Oh man, PRO STARS. I ate a whole box once. That...is a cereal.
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Pfft.
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? No, I mean a 10-year old girl with scoliosis could hurt me.
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Cookies N' Cream. It's sinful, but isn't that the sign of good ice cream? When the Devil sticks his hand in the mix?
16. WHAT IS YOUR SHOE SIZE? 9 1/2, hard to find.
17. RED OR PINK? Red is for men.
18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Procrastinating. Yeah. And I'm like a kid too much. SHUT UP!
19. YOU MISS THE MOST? School...or Pro Stars. Choosing sucks.
20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Kinda hard when I'm openly posting it on my own website....RETARD.
21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? No pants(yes!) BUT black shorts(boo.), and grey(used to be white) socks.
22. LAST THING YOU ATE? Baked Lays Original Delicious!
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? "Intentions" by Fifteen
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Chartreuse
25. FAVORITE SMELL? I dunno...candy?
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Jason. Been awhile since we talked!!
27.THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Hair, since it's usually long and wavey, so your eyes pick up on that, or it's short. If it's short, then I don't notice long hair so I notice short hair! ...Horrible run-on sentences and commas. Eech.
28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yeah, but haven't heard from her in awhile....
29. FAVORITE DRINK? Coca-Cola Classic
30. FAVORITE SPORT? Hockey. DUH.
31. EYE COLOUR? Light blue.
32. HAT SIZE? The kind that fits. What-ev.
33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No, but I used to. It was Hell in cornea form.
34. FAVORITE FOOD? Chicken and riiiiice, chicken and riiiice!
35. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIE THEATRE? Wow, I honestly can't remember. But X3 will soon be on my list come Friday! Go Logan!
36. COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Pocket Grey. I like the name.
37. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer. Despite my over-heating, it does contain July 26th, my birthday.
38. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs for fun, kisses for SUPER fun.
39. FAVORITE DESSERT? Cherry Cheesecake.
40. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Nobody ever does...
41. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Those not even reading this survey. Genius answer, eh?
42. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? My vision has seceded to the point where I can't read small print. But if I COULD, I'd finish The Great Gatsby and start some book my family reccomends. They read a lot.
43. ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Blue, and plenty of it.
44 WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? Mythbusters!
46. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles. At least I can swallow a few of their tunes.
47.YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? Piano and video games? Yuck, I need a life improvement.
49. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BorN? Some hospital in Oshawa, Ontario on July 26th, 1982. Those were the days(that I don't remember)...
50. THE END? Yes.
Arright, that's it. Leave me alone for another 2 months.....
Just kidding. But seriously, I'll start work on my silly article tomorrow. Ciao!
Your Not Faithful Updater,
Armagideon Time
Current mood:  Calamari Terror Mouse Current music: Fifteen - Subdivision
Monday, May 22, 2006
Greetings, fellow Journal For Blind Error readers! It has been pretty much 2 months since my last entry. Why? Once again, lack of interest. I've been akin to the likes of my ErrorCast and whatnot. I hope you've been frequenting it. It sure is a slab of fun and frivolity!! But fret not. I will be reviewing a trip I took to Quebec not long ago. THREE TIMES! Yes, three reviews on the same trip. Sound kooky? Oh it will be.
It'll even have pictures! But you don't get any this time. I'm saving them all for the next 3. When will they be done? In the coming week. Stay tuned. Especially those on the message board thingie. Here's to you all.
Your Once-Again Faithful Updator,
Armagideon Time
Current mood:  Feeble Melba Toast Flack Current music: Snuff - Words Of Wisdom
Monday, March 20, 2006
Hello, once again, my people. Sorry I haven't been Journaling it up as I used to(did I though, really?). I gots the pad to myself until later Friday 'cause the parents be in Vegas. Buncha lucky fellas. Anyway, I figure to let time go by, I'll put up some serious Podcasts for y'all. Plus, these ones're shorter! And there's more! It isn't just a once-a-week venture! 3 a week! Holy crow's nest, Batman! I say you go n' listen ASAP! Every week touches 1 subject, but you get 3 different looks at it, all from the mouth of Armagideon Time(me). Enjoy, faithfuls.
'The ErrorCast'
Your Podcatcher,
Armagideon Time
Current mood:  Twenty Tile Teamsters Current music: 7 Seconds - Committed For Life
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Lookout, ladles and gentlespoons! The very first REAL episode of The ErrorCast is up and fully functional! I'm hoping to hear your comments about it. But cut a brudda some slack, I was nervous, y'all. Maybe I'll feature constant background music to lighten the mood. Yeah. Yeah. Music.
'The ErrorCast' Episode 1
Your Webisode,
Armagideon Time
Current mood: Federal Glass Carp Current music: AFI - Battled
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